No one is born transgender. Lots of people wish they were the other gender, or daydream about it, but that doesn't suddenly make you the opposite gender. No one has to mutilate their body and prance around as a grotesque parody of the other sex. Only evil people who let their daydreams control them, who don't care about the harm this does to themselves or their family or the social contagion this spreads to other vulnerable kids, only those people are transgender. To be transgender is to choose to be evil, not to think about it and then realize that's stupid and wrong. Virtually everyone has illicit thoughts about everything. That's not important. What's important is what you choose to do with them. Do you dwell on them and let them dominate your life, or do you ignore them and do the right thing? That decision is always up to you. No one makes you do anything wrong. Everyone has a choice. Which means every single transgender person is not a victim but a perpetrator. They all could have chosen to just not be trans.
I think I'm trans, since I was a kid I prayed every night that I would wake up the next morning as a girl and I didn't know why, I didn't even think about the fact that I did in a conscious way. Even though I was shy and quiet I was always pretty athletic and I loved the outdoors and I never had any feminine interests, and I couldn't reconcile these two parts of myself. I thought it would just go away when I got older but it only got worse. I fantasized constantly about how the life I could have been living if I was a girl and yet I for some reason I did nothing with that. I wish now that I had. Puberty came and I dissociated and ignored the pain that was building inside me for years until I couldn't anymore and now I feel like I've just woken up and I'm a man but not in any of the ways that count and I don't know what to do. I feel so lost. I'm viscerally disgusted by my own body and face even though I try so hard to ignore it. My hands, my shoulders, my ribcage and my skull are grotesque. I want to die everytime I look in the mirror or hear myself speak. I feel searing envy even when I see an unattractive woman and wish desperately that I was her. When I look at the passoid timelines here it feels like a punch in the gut from mike tyson, it makes my heart ache with jealousy and regret. I want start e so badly but I don't know if it's too late for me and I would sooner kill myself than allow myself to become a hon. I want to but time has run out. I have no life and nothing to lose but I'm still too scared to do anything. Repressing made me such a bitter and miserable person that I don't recognize myself anymore. I made myself ugly as I could on the inside and outside because I hated myself and how I felt. I don't know what to do.
earlier i talked to this trans girl im getting somewhat close with and we did talk about doing *stuff* together, but today she talked about wanting to fuck a pussy and stuff and it made me feel rlly bad about not having one ;w; like she said she wants to thrust into a girl and kiss her and stuff and i said she can do that with a trans girl aswell and she said its not the same thing ): its over....
The only time I interacted with a woman was when I shared food with a girl on a schoolbus going home. I'm being hyperbole but I'm such a fucking loser, still. Can anyone relate. The only thing I have going for me is that Im slightly talented at my hobbies.
