~4 years hrt and my sex drive is seemingly in the most annoying spot. I still get horny enough to think about sex and want to masturbate, but when I actually do it I stop being horny after like 3 minutes and then it just feels like I'm forcing myself and it's not really enjoyable. Also orgasms feel barely there, like I'm about to cum and then the sensation just ends What can I do about this? don't say prog it always gives me acne and weird mental effects
Every time life starts getting better or I actually start making progress in my transition or my general situation it only takes one bad experience to set me, cut off everyone and neet again. Recently got groped at my last job after I let it slip I was trans, been pretty much inert since. I dropped out of high school cause I hated myself for being a tranny and didn’t want people to see me transition. Got a job. Stopped hrt for a bit after that because a girl liked me and I thought it would make the thoughts go away and I wanted a friend. Tried to make it work but it didn’t because I’m a tranny and don’t like pussy. Got back on hrt and hondosed myself for a while cause I thought maybe it would help but I wouldn’t have to commit to being a tranny. Realized it didn’t and went back on a normal dose and now it doesn’t work that good or I’m just doing it wrong idk. I think I’m hella autistic, don’t have any friends irl never did throughout high/middle school much either, always had a don’t speak unless spoken to nature so people kinda just ignore me. Not particularly cute so attention doesn’t follow me (which honestly saddens me). Been on hrt for years and I still don’t pass but mostly out of a lack of trying if I’m being honest. Body is obviously fem for a guy but still masc looking face and voice so people are kinda put off by me if they aren’t gay or a tranny. While gay and trannies are generally put off after a while cause I’m a dejected blackpilled 4chan tranny with kinda masc interests because I’m still scared of femininity and people thinking I’m a faggot so I try not acting like one even tho I look like one so much and shamefully sodimize myself to get off. Made friends with a few from here but even then the anxiety from keeping up relationships really gets to me now and I don’t trust much anymore so I ghost them. Idk what to do anymore or how to find the will to keep trying and focus.
new life plan: PROPER twink death. Be as REPULSIVE as possible. Binge eat and binge drink.
Everyone still mistakes me for a gay TEENAGER even tho I’m almost 30. I hate it. Bring me twink death plz
>be me >masculine personality >fat teenager, skinny adult >baby face >took estrogen when younger >total gay faggot teen looking drug test tube adult >kms in minecraft >mildly psychotic
>failed giga manlet hapa incel with tiny penis >bisexual guy told me that I'm cute and would be pretty as a girl >initially hated it because it was gay >has been living rent free in my head ever since he said that to me >kind of want to try crossdressing >thoughts about getting railed by a man flashing my mind all the time >initially tried my best to reject these feelings but ended up jerking off while imagining myself getting fucked by a guy >tfw Is it over for my heterosexuality?
after a certain amount of time being trans, you stop looking at young couples your age and wondering "when will it be my turn" and realize it will never be your turn. after a certain amount of time, and possibly many bad experiences, you realize there is no such thing as a fairy tale unicorn guy who truly sees you as a woman and doesn't care at all that you're trans and actually loves you and wants a committed relationship. you begin to realize that people like us do not get these sort of things, do not get love and companionship and warmth and comfort, and that that's just how the world works.
