**I realized that I have a familial dynamic only you fucks could understand. If you can relate, I'm so sorry.**
So, like every other mtf, my parents got divorced when I was 10. During that time, I became a therapist/confidante for my mom, bc my dad was an Asperger's coke addict so I didn't rly like him. My mom would tell me these stories about my dad and his family (who are all odd), but one story in particular ended up becoming relevant later in my life.
My father's father (who I'll call John) is a *weird* individual. He got all his body hair lasered at 65, he got a Blepharoplasty for his hooded eyes, he was a 60's hippie, and also a pharmacist who sold viagra to college students. I didn't really care though, because I was 10. Another story I didn't care that much about was how my father, as a child, found a photobook of John crossdressing and wearing diapers w/ a binky. I think my mom even said there was one of him eating out of a shitty diaper too, idrk. This story was repeated by multiple others though, and John acts the part so I believe.
I let that simmer in my subconscious until I came out 5 years later and was like "oh, he must've given me the trans gene" not knowing that being a diaper trans was a fucking trope. It only hit me like two years later when I spiraled and came here. When it did hit, though.. holy fucking shittttt. I thought it was funny before that he was some closeted gay freak, but now I'm just mortified whenever I see him... which is going to be bad because I'm moving near them for college & they might help w rent.
I came out to John & his wife in like 2022 because I still interact with my dad's family enough to warrant it, & his parents are the only neolibs in a redneck oil baron family, so I expected it when they were accepting... except the next (and last) time I saw John, he kept calling me "his big man", & "the man of the house" in this catty ass voice.
Is it over for me? Do I kill myself? Will I catch Diaperhonitis by proximity?
It makes literally no sense to hate trannies as a cis male. Their existence does not affect you in any way. Even the most gymbro of pooner is no threat to you, and neither are any trans women. The existence of trans women is literally a good thing for cis men. For most of history the threat of emasculation has been used as a weapon against men to keep them in line. Keep their nose to the grindstone, keep them from taking care of themselves because it's "faggy" to give a shit about your appearance or wellbeing, been told to never express your feelings and just swallow them all down until you crack otherwise you're a girl. Do not fear the tranny, but embrace them as a rebellion against the system that still keeps you oppressed. The very same system you likely, happily, take a part in every day. Break free from your chains. Fear not the words "gay' or "faggot" or "sissy". They are cudgels beat over your head to keep you generating underpaid labor until you finally break.
ive been trooning for like 11 months now and desu its not working - its literally ruining my life. ive tried to stop and detransition a few times but i cant bring myself to skip a single injection or cancel a single refill or shatter a single vial of honjuice into a million billion pieces on the ground even though i so so want to and constantly think abt it.
so how do i make it stick? how do i wean myself off estrogen and accept that im always going to be a man? desisted frmr hrt repbros only, pinkpillers btfo