>>39360239>i like herYou don't like her, you like the idea of what she could be.
>i want a relationship with her.You want a relationship with a version of her that doesn't exist.
>i want to go back to how we were beforeHow you were before wasn't how you think it was. She had the same issues she has now, they were just dormant. Her current behavior was inevitable because it's spurred by unresolved emotional problems she's never healed from and won't heal from until she faces the music and is forced to acknowledge them.
>but without the insane lack of accountability.See above. She never had it.
>i just wish she was able to try to be better Keyword: "wish". You shouldn't have to "wish". If you stay with her, your wish will not be satisfied, you'll just have an endless stream of fulfillment.
>(as she said she would)Actions speak louder than words. So far, her actions have proved time and time again that she won't change.
>without playing these gamesAdults don't play games. Relationships aren't easy peasy, but if they involve games, your partner is not ready.
>or without holding so much rancor inside of her.Resentment is the absolute death nail of love. It's like a poison that rots it from the inside out. That said, though, it's not really you she's angry at. She's angry at whatever it is she's projecting onto you and she's either so lost in her trauma she isn't aware of this or is aware of this and is saving her pride by ignoring it instead of treating you better. You have given her many chances and have told her many times what the problem is. It's not your responsibility to wait around for her to grow up. At this point, it's hurting both of you for you to keep looping back into her games like this. You're continuously hurt and unhappy and she's constantly enabled and allowed to mistreat you instead of stopping herself and healing.
