ive been lurking on detrans/transphobic internet spaces the past week and its got me doing some serious thinking and self reflection

while i am content with the changes hrt brought me and i cant even begin to fathom the idea of me as a man ive been holding myself to insanely high standards with regards to social perception, this includes feeling embarrassed whenever i introduce myself to others with my preferred name and pronouns, absolutely refusing to use the womens restroom and “holding it in” when i’m out in public, feeling anxiety and pressure whenever i have to tell potential partners im trans (im straight and have only dated cis men in the past), i constantly worry about being “visibly trans” and being clocked, etc etc. and sometimes i wish i didnt care at all and wish i could come to terms with the body i was born in because it seems 1000x easier than having to deal with all of this but its literally impossible to imagine myself as a male regardless of the presentation

eurgh sorry for the blogpost but i just wanna know if any of u get what im feeling and have any advice u can offer as i feel as if im “stuck”, maybe its just a dysphoric episode (for me)