>>33923831>He means that the fantasy of longing for that someone is much more comfortable than the risk of pain and rejection.I know what he meant, I was just being sardonic.
And I have made advances on people before, way too many, with not much success. To keep doing so would be a waste of time and energy. I didn't know how to deal with the lack of love, and I'm still learning how to deal with it. I'm getting better day by day.
Regardless, I'm so far back in the race I can't ever hope to get back on track, if I ever was. But again, I am fine with it. Even if love is a fundamental part of the human experience, I can fill that gap with an assorment of other passions, as well as taking care of myself until I learn how to love me. You should take your own advice though, even if painful, it is a wonderful experience to have.
>>33925461Caring, in my opinion, is a spectrum. If you don't care enough about someone even to just keep them in your life, you care very, very little. I don't mean to accuse of you of anything since I don't know your case, but I'm bothered by how laxily people fling around these terms in an extremely watered-down manner. When I worry about someone's wellbeing, I ask them how they are doing and try to help them, or at least be there for them. If I don't worry enough, I don't, which in practice is the same as not caring.
And that is fine, no one is forcing you to care, and you should put yourself first in that case. But don't claim otherwise to feel better about the decision you've taken. Be accountable for your feelings and actions.
