>>40293462I dont see why people think they are born into a category. I mean, I do, its a popular belief that serves a lot of functions, but it isnt reasonable and if you pull on it just a bit, it unravels not just scientifically but logically.
Im a bit neurotic and egoist so I applied introspection to memory and was able to map out exactly which thoughts and choices led to which association over time that became a mental framework. And it works for a lot of things, and I still use it, and still need work sometimes to undo poor associations that dont hold up to reason, but were learned when reason wasnt being used.
In my case, the context of my environment in development and life trajectory suggests that some basic ideas got started around 5th grade that didnt have anything to do with sex or males, but that began a framework for rebellion that folded into other associations that formed my personality as a whole. And in that mental framework, the idea of being intimate with males as well as females seems like it was inevitable.
I figured this out by back tracking and removing each decision point to see if an earlier decision point in a new choice would produce a different view point given my values (not just for sex, but other things as well) and found that it almost never did. I was able to go back quite a ways before, sex for example, fell off the considerations.
What remained was simply an angry kid with dubious values and social associations. The indignation with being told something was wrong didnt come until much later, so naturally I would lean into it. If the wrong people told me not to do something, that was the thing I leaned into.
So for me, its no mystery. I wish others would spend time deconstructing their personalities. It just helps being self aware to know why we do the things we do...
