genuinely no point not to kms i just """live""" in my pathetic little room never leaving it never doing anything rotting away for years as the urges to finally end my misery is stronger each new year. only thing that keeps me from cutting it short is playing pretend online with a bunch of people who think im an earnest lifeform and that just ruins their life when they get invested in a fake human with fake feelings and doesn't even know what they even really feel anymore instead i get caught up in other people's shit all the time drowning out my sense of self even more as it predominantly becomes pleasing the person giving me meaning. everywhere i look i see more and more proof this world wants nothing to do with the real me anyway so whats the point, im doing better for this world pretending enough to at least give other people someone to air out their feelings to but then they get frustrated im not also giving them anything they want to hear, any progression any proof i even care about the life i live in and then im back in that loop. i think id like to kms someday, even if its just to protect other people from being unfortunately aware of me

air out your own shit too idk maybe then this thread would have at least done anything useful instead of it being some dumb pity party woe is me crypost.