>>39759813lol
>>39759804Both I guess. I like tracing things back and replaying them with different decisions to see if the results would be different. Oddly, they usually aren't because solving one problem results in arriving at the next challenge with the same mentality. Like the saying goes, "No matter where you go, there you are."
I try to find the "nidus", tracing things back to where they started, and go really far back. I will ask what I was feeling, why, what the associations are, where did I learn them. I try to take responsibility where I can without letting others off the hook. Taking responsibility ultimately is the only way to clarity, its how to learn from mistakes, even when its not flattering.
This helps me find themes, recurring errors (or at least priorities and decisions).
But thats what surprised me, was that even with different decisions, I still end up in the same problems, only different settings.
It was probably obvious to everyone else, but I didnt realize I was so animated by anger and resentment. Because some of it was earned and my fault as a reaction to things that were not, it could be confusing going through it the first few times.