>be me 10
>meth addict parents so cps takes me to foster care
Foster dad is a widowed ex marine and is very nice to me
>be me 14
>closeted gay boy questioning his gender
>eventually can't take it anymore and break down telling foster dad how much I hate being a boy
>tells me it's okay and that I don't have to be a boy if I don't want to
>I start hrt, feeling better then ever
>foster dad helps me pick a new name
>he names me dahlia, after his passed wife
>he defends me whenever I get bullied at school, fights for me with doctors to make sure I get proper doses
>be me 19
>feeling really really depressed and dysphoric because I'm terrified trumps gonna take away my hrt
>make a post on Twitter joking about roping
>not even ten minutes later he rushes to my room in a panic, looking like he's gonna throw up
>he looks concerned and terrified as he mentions the tweet
>I run over to him and hug him telling him I was only joking
>he hugs me with an iron grip and makes me promise not to ever kill myself or even joke about it
>I nod and assure him I won't
>he tells me that his wife died from a suicide, not an illness like I thought
>he's crying as he tells me about it. He never cries.
>she apparently had a lot of painful medical issues before they got married
>eventually, the pain was too much and she killed herself
>I hold him tightly and tell him that I'll never leave him

I love my foster dad so much. I can't even remember my shitty bio dad's face. I wish I could marry my foster dad. Every other boy I've dated just can't measure up to him. He's so kind, and strong, and loving. And I see how lonely he is. I want so badly to comfort him and stay by his side forever. If he asked me to be his wife I'd say yes in an instant. I don't care if he's in his forties, he's the hottest kindest guy I've ever met. He keeps asking me if I have a crush on any boys and every bone in my body wants me to say "you daddy!" But I just say no. How do I stop wanted to date my dad? :(