>>39729872>why do you think it's a barrier, then?Because I don't think there's many people who share this kind of sexuality
>i'm saying that that can't properly happen if you can't simply connect with another person first, and get to know them on their own terms, rather than trying to find someone who slots into your fantasies like a puzzle piece and follows a "script" you've written for them in your head.but then there's the risk of sexual incompatibility
like imagine being gay but the gender of your partner is only revealed like, idk, six months in, it would make finding someone pretty hard right?
I understand not wanting to project a fantasy onto other people, or expecting them to fit into a very specific fantasy mold, but there has to be some kind of compatibility on that level
>you don't even actually know that you couldn't enjoy basic intimacy for its own sake, because you haven't experienced that yet. you've been trying to generate sexual excitement alone by yourself, in the absence of sexual chemistry with another person, and that's where the intense and specific fantasies have helped you feel excited.the issue is that I've always been like this, like since before puberty, I don't think it's just a compensatory mechanism for lack of intimacy
>does that make sense at all? if it helps, i'm coming from a position where i actually relate strongly to you but i'm glad i opened up my thinking and had a different experience.it's good to know you're coming from a sympathetic place
>>39729887idk I'd feel weird typing out detailed fantasies, but I like a lot of stuff that doesn't seem sexual
like domination/submission, but expressed in day to day life, non-sexual acts of service, little gestures of control on his part, stuff like that
aesthetic stuff is harder to explain
