I have a cousin who's about 10 years younger than me, and she reminds me very much of myself, although in a depressing way. She's a lesbian, and definitely a very odd and somewhat weird girl. She has a very cutesy style and is quite awkward, but she still has friends nonetheless. I get upset and happy at the same time because she is who I would've been if I was born cis and in a normal family. She has both her parents, and they're accepting of her being gay and weird, meanwhile, I have to struggle with my mother's death I never got over from 15 years ago, and I also get to be a tranny with the exact same sexuality and weirdness as my little cousin. I am very happy for her that she gets to have the life I never did, but it still pains me to see. I know it isn't good or healthy to think like this, but I have that tranny longing for something I never could have had.