>>39381825Keep on moving forward, one step at a time. No matter how difficult it is, just take the next step.
But also... Don't forget why numbness was, is, and forever will be, so seductive, lest you be lured back in.
When you close yourself off from feeling, from wanting, you can't be disappointed or hurt because you expected nothing to begin with. It's safe. As you said.
When you turn away from numbness, when you open yourself up to wanting, to feeling, you are also opening yourself back up to disappointment and pain.
When you choose to make a change like this, you are the marble, the chisel and the sculptor. You can't do it without pain.
HRT is only the first step of many. I made the mistake of getting lured back in by the numbness and spent 3-4 years boymoding unnecessarily.
I was so numb that I didn't even realize that I could spend the money I had earned to get FFS and VFS. I put it in my retirement savings and couldn't get it back out again.
I could have been passing 3-4 years ago. Granted, I did eventually shake myself out of it, I did get FFS and VFS and now I pass. But still - remember to keep moving forward and don't let yourself get lured back into being numb.
