>Spend half a decade on HRT
>Gotten multiple procedures from FFS to body fat transfers to appear as outwardly cis as possible (no SRS though)
>Obsessively hone voice skills and get nearly stuck in female range
>Overall pass fully no matter my presentation or what setting it's in to about everyone

But also

>Can only experience sexual pleasure seeing myself as male
>Gender dysphoria went away after passing fully
>Can't go back to being a boy after irrevocably altering my body

I think I fully understand the fujoshi mindset now. It's like having to breath through a snorkle 24/7. The only way in which you can get off is indirectly almost. Like you have to externalize your self and body fully and become a spectator. I feel really bad for ever making fun of them. They live in sexual fulfilment limbo at best usually

The point of all this being though, don't transition if you're just a repressed homosexual. Tackle your sexuality before your gender identity. I would have been much happier as a gay bottom
/blog