I'm a midshit boymoder who started hrt in my teens. I have an irl friend who's a lateshit honmoder in her 20s. Whenever I vent to her about my insecurities and how I feel like I'm going to have to boymode forever because I'll never pass, she tells me that I should just girlmode like her. I don't want to hurt her feelings but secretly she's everything I'm terrified of being. The thought of being a grotesque hon like her who gets stared at in public is the most potent closetfuel I can imagine. I feel like a horrible person because she's really nice but I wish she'd shut up because it makes me feel so much worse.