I don't know.
As a kid I literally had dreams of being a woman. I recall one where I opened a book and I transformed and was so happy. I identified as trans throughout school and about a year after I graduated l tried to live life as a man, lasted 2 years before I began having thoughts again. Went out crossdressed about 6 months ago with some friends and while I felt "happy" it also felt temporary. I bought estrodol and antiandrogen about a month ago but have refused to take them. Because I'm so unsure