>>33469694>Because that's the missing piece.i don't know what people want from me
you know, do people date other people for personality and stuff and not just for sex? my problem is that he'd just eventually leave me for a cis woman but still, i'd be more than happy to at least experience a nice relationship once in my life and then never experience it again rather than to never experience it at all
sex and everything else is secondary but it'd probably never get to that because he'd be too repulsed by me, i think. again, i'm not sure how to judge how i look, i think i look like a hon but people in my uni course tell me i'm a twink or something, which i just don't see since i have body hair and stuff + a beard i shave constantly but never let grow fully ofc and i unfortunately can't afford laser because i'm a broke college student. i also have a bit of a fucked up hairline and severe acne problems that have been bothering me for a few years which i hope to fix in like a span of year or two by going to a dermatologist (hrt has helped ofc but not with everything so...)
i don't think i look monstrous though but...i don't look or sound like a woman. surprisingly though, of the people who do know me as trans, they say i act pretty girly and hold myself in a girlish manner but i don't really know what i'm doing, i just...stand and act the way i act naturally so idk...of all the people who don't know me as trans, they just think i'm a closeted gay guy or, what might be more possible, that i'm so closeted (bcs i refuse to talk about sexual things or disclose my sexuality with my colleagues even when they tease me about it) that i might not even KNOW myself that i'm a gay guy or whatever even though i do know what i am, a tranny and that's it, i just don't talk to people about it.
