My boyfriend and I just broke up after 2 months. It was my first relationship. I'm 25 and he's 19. The last time I saw him everything was fine. His mom said I was welcome over at their house any time and that I was basically family. I told him I loved him and he said the same and I got in my car and drove off. He tells me he needs to grieve for some distant relative for 3 days and I need to give him space so I did. Then, out of the blue, he sends me a message saying he loves me but he's not ready for a relationship. I'm devastated and everyone just laughs at me because "lul he's 19 and it was only two months get fucked perv."

The only advice I've gotten is from Grindr whores saying "just don't feel bro." I don't want to succumb to this hedonistic cynicism and treat romance as a commodity. I also don't want to date people my age because anyone gay my age has already caved into adhering to that depraved, promiscuous lifestyle. At the same time, what 20 year old is going to be ready for a relationship? No one understands why I'm so distraught but I feel like to stifle these emotions would leave me with less to offer the next person.

I am in a weird position where I wasn't able to date throughout my teenage and college years and now it's as if I've gotten out of a prison ready to meet the boyfriend I always dreamed of and all I'm met with is a sea of shit-slinging, diseased primates shamelessly fucking each other and demanding to be tolerated. Gradually, I began to hate them...

What do?