i wish a real man would remind me that im a woman by forcing me to detransition and raping me :( all ill ever be is a woman who shoots up roids because she thinks it will make her resemble a male (it wont), i deserve to be punished for being female and pretending to be male. im not even malebrained, im just severely gender dysphoric. im a weak foid, so an actual man could do whatever he wanted to me and i wouldnt be able to fight back

i wouldnt like any of this, i would be miserable and hate it, which is why i want it. testosterone makes me happy, dressing as male makes me happy, having autonomy makes me happy, i dont deserve any of that.

sometimes ill walk around my town after dark hoping i get kidnapped raped and murdered, but that hasnt happened yet. i guess i look male now, which makes me happy, so its bad. yesterday i looked at myself naked in the mirror for the first time in months and i realized i look more male that female now, at least my fat distribution does, ignoring the chest tumors (i mean the breasts, used for breast feeding, my only purpose in life :D)

instead of what i deserve i have a bf who loves me and wouldnt do any of this, its wrong. i deserve another horrible bf who abuses me, im not supposed to be happy in a relationship. it feels weird, im supposed to be miserable. and a different pooner whos actually male deserves him, not me