I have been wondering about this for a while. I've never identified as a man and living as a woman has made me so much happier but I need to face facts and acknowledge that I will never be a woman no matter what I do. Living as a man drove me to multiple suicide attempts but I'll never be a real woman so what's the point of transitioning.
Any input is appreciated, I understand this kind of thread is not welcome but I don't know anywhere else that will be honest
I like sharing fun tttt greentexts, making the occasional pinkpill joke, talked about some manga with gnc/gb themes, answered yes to button question, gave one of them diy info when she got hondosed, but I don't think I've expressed anything that should come across as gd. Are they just messing with me for funsies?
>take estrogen >have tits >pass as a female >happen to have a small pp that I use exclusively for consensual sex with dominant cis women >REE you must use the male bathroom its the LAW Why are they like this?
> be me > 19 y/o femboy with no social skills or past relationships > extremely envious of femboy couples > meet a decent cosplayer > hes a 30 y/o singaporean > find out hes the felix cosplayer in the pic > we talk for a month about whatever (mostly daydreaming about living alone with someone else) > he asks me to be his boyfriend in the middle of a fortnite match > i say yes > he invites me to a convention happening in 2 months > i accept > convention happens, first convention, first time i'm in a hotel room with other people than family, audio processing disorder going crazy as well as being half deaf not helping at all > he blows up on me for not telling him about these issues when i mentioned it before we started dating; he moves on from it later > rest of convention wasn't very good, he kept getting annoyed at my hearing loss and how clumsy and new i am to cosplaying > he apologizes when its just us two left in the room > couple weeks go by > he asks me if i remember the blonde girl that was rooming with is > "yea why?" > "you want to be in a poly with her?" > reluctantly say yes > we get along together well, i grow closer to her even though i'm terrified of women > fast forward a couple of months > he invites me to visit him in singapore for a couple of weeks as well as with her > the time rolls around > the visit was okay > he kept getting annoyed with my hearing loss > hes extremely excited when the blonde one comes later > he gives her way more attention to her than to me > jealous.jpg > he tells her his feelings and thoughs behind my back when he thinks i can't hear it (i can get a general idea) > he cucks me with her in front of me. > he starts crying and saying that i didn't hear it/ understand
ik ik i womt really do it JUST KIDDING STAR blah blah
but seriously i need a place to vent. im going through a breakup, im lonely, i think i drive every person away by being too clingy.
everyone i meet that i sort of imagine a future with is either way too sexual, has a partner/poly, or just doesnt like me.
i just wanted some people to like watch movies with and hold hands and no one actually wants to do that with me, at least no other trans girls. maybe some moids but i rlly dont like testosterone it is too horny for me.
anyways im giving it a little longer. maybe someone actually wants to be with me and cuddle and stuff without sex. but seriously im at my limit. usa government sucks, work environment sucks, relationships suck.
theres no point continuing when i can just die and go somewhere other than here. and no idc ab "living as a protest" or wtv the jannies dont care if im dead or alive
